James 1:1-18

James 1
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."

Every time I read this passage I find that something else really sticks out to me. A lot of times I focus only on the "consider it joy" part or the "every good and perfect gift" part. This time the part that is really sticking out is vs 13-15. That part about us being tempted b/c of our evil desire. I don't think I truly understood "sin nature" until I was a parent. Until the first time my little girl wilfully disobeyed me. It wasn't that she didn't understand she just CHOSE to do the opposite of what I told her to do.

How often do I let MY evil desire drag me away? More often than I like to admit. It pains me to consider that I am hurting my Father in Heaven even more than my child is hurting me. He is the giver of "every good and perfect gift" (okay so I am focusing on it some ;)) and I still choose to look Him in the eye and disobey Him.

I have been through many trials in my life. More than some and less than others. I wonder how many of those trials were birthed from letting my sin desire breed until it overtook me? How many times did I walk in the opposite direction of God but expect Him to keep my life cheery. Don't get me wrong, I don't think God is in Heaven punishing me by giving me trials. It says He's not in those verses above. But that doesn't mean that He's not letting me fend for myself in a way. The thing I have always found is He's right there beside me, just waiting for me to call out Abba Father, save me! When I choose that, things start to look different.

What would happen if I never walked away? No matter the trial I faced, nothing would seem impossible. I believe that I could be joyous in my trials. I believe I would always focus on what He is giving me and not what has been taken away.

Thank you Father for all you do. Thank you for loving this wicked, bent person. Thank you for all my good and perfect gifts. Thank you for the joy you can give. Please give me wisdom and strength. Amen.